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A GUY'S DO'S AND DON'TS OF DATING

By Jack Spann

 

This is some dating advice that my dad sent to my son who is 14.  I thought this was really cute!   This is what he wrote word for word.  My Dad said this is how he got my Mom.

 

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ASKING FOR A DATE

Personally I never liked asking for a date on the phone, I liked asking in person, but nothing wrong with asking on the phone.  If this is the first time you have ever talked to her then this may not be the best time to ask for a date.  Call at least a time or two and get to know her and let her get to know you.  When talking try to get a feel to see if she even wants to date you.  If you call and five seconds later she says I have to go then perhaps you are wasting you time.  If she seems interested then perhaps the first time ask her for a Sunday afternoon coke date.  Go to a local drive in, sit and talk over a coke and maybe take a short drive.  This will give you and her the opportunity to get to know each other.  This might be the perfect time to ask her for a date.

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WHAT TO DO ON A DATE

Sometimes deciding what to do together is a lot of fun and not just one person doing what they want to do all the time.  Maybe you decide one date and let her decide what to do the next.   But one thing to remember girls if you are reading this, a guy is not made of money, although if he likes you he will probably spend his last dime and borrow all he can get from his parents.  So be mindful of this when making decisions on what to do.

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YOUR APPEARANCE

Always take a bath at least within a few hours of the date.  Wash and comb your hair.  Use an underarm deodorant.  CLEAN YOUR FINGERNAILS, this can't be emphasized enough guys, a girl notices things that a guy just doesn't think matter, but believe me ask any girl about fingernails, just look at theirs.  Brush your teeth and tongue thoroughly.  Why the tongue, most bad breath comes from the tongue believe it or not, and rinse with a breath freshener, perhaps take some breath fresheners along.  Think about it do you want to be around or kiss anybody with bad breath.  A light cologne is OK, but don't take a bath in it.  Men's cologne, when wearing too much can be very overpowering.   Wear the appropriate clothes.  The occasion dictates, if it calls for a suit then a suit, casual, then casual clothes, if blue jeans, then clean no holes blue jeans.   The occasion might call for a T-shirt, OK but no T-shirt with any writing.   Guys look at yourself in the mirror and say do I look my best, would I like to be seen with me.

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MEETING HER PARENTS

NEVER, NEVER drive up in front of your date's house and honk expecting her to come out to the car.  Go in and meet the girl's parents.  Be on your best behavior, YES MA'AM, NO MA'AM, YES SIR and NO SIR are appropriate.  When shaking the Father's hand give a good firm handshake.  Tell them where you are going and what you will be doing.  Guys to really make and impression on your date's parents ask them "What time should I have (your dates name here) home?"  And guys have your date home and in the house by the time the parents say.  This is the time to act like a man not a kid and always be polite.  When you date comes into the room or if she meets you at the door tell her she looks great.  To make and impression on your date and her parents bring flowers.   By the way flowers don't have to be elaborate or costly either, a single rose, or daisies as my date always preferred.  Another rule of thumb don't hang around too long talking to the parents, remember you have your date waiting.

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OPENING DOORS

Always open all doors, the door when leaving the parents house, the car door and all doors after that.  It's not that girls are weak, you are just saying I respect you and it's the thing to do and it makes an impression.  Believe me most girls like it.

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WALKING WITH YOU DATE

Always when walking your date have the lady in front or beside you.  (There are a couple of exceptions which I will talk about later.)  If walking down a narrow aisle, for instance in a restaurant, let the lady go first, with you directly behind.  If walking down a wide enough area for both of you to walk together never let her trail, always put her first.   There are only two exceptions that I can think of, of course if she is in danger you will put yourself between her and the danger.  If you are in a crowded location and maneuvering through a crowd is the only option, then you lead, making way for her, holding her hand and looking back often to see if she is making it alright.

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TALKING

This is one topic that you are just about on your own, nobody can tell you what to say, but perhaps a few pointers.  Don't talk too much about yourself unless she asks and then only answer her questions with some elaboration.  Talk about things the both of you have in common.  Ask things about her too, let her know you are interested in her.   Think about her and putting her first during the date (she should have you undivided attention) and conversation should follow.

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DON'T LOOK GUYS

I know it's hard when a pretty girl comes in the room not to look, take a quick glance, maybe a look (3 seconds maximum) and then immediately focus you attention back on you date and don't look again.   Guys how would you like it if your date was constantly staring at a good looking guy, other than yourself.

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NEVER LEAVE YOUR DATE ALONE

This is a true story guys, while at a restaurant after eating the girl goes to the restroom, the guy decides to pay out and wait for her in the car.  Well she comes out and doesn't have a clue where he is, but she finally finds him waiting in the car, needless to say that was the last time they ever dated.  DON'T LEAVE YOUR DATE.  If she goes to the restroom as in the above case watch the restroom doors for her to come out and be waiting for her.   Be near by so she can see you when she comes out and walk her out.  If you have to go to the restroom try to go at the same time she does, but tell her where you will be in case she comes out first.  Always decide on a meeting place before leaving each other.

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WALK YOUR DATE TO THE FRONT DOOR

You are responsible for her from the time she walks out her front door until the time you see her walk in that same front door.  NEVER let your date walk up to her front door alone.  Walk her to the front door PERIOD.  It just could be the best part of the date guys, read the next section.

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KISSING ON THE FIRST DATE

This is a very awkward time for the man, so ladies any help from you can really help.  You have walked her to the front door.  You tell her that you had a great time and really enjoyed being with her.  Guys if the girl doesn't give you a hint in any way about the goodnight kiss, then ask her.  Ask her straight out if you can give her a goodnight kiss before you have to go.  If she says yes then be mindful of where her hands go, if on your arms or shoulders usually she is only expecting a peck.  If her hands are on your waist then possibly a little more than a peck.  A girls hands are on your arms or waist where she can push you back if need be.  Respect this guys and don't go any further than what she wants.  If her hands go completely around your waist or around your neck then possibly she wants a more lingering kiss.  But guys please not a body crushing kiss, the girls don't want broken bones or bruised lips.  But let the girl lead, if she pushes back then stop.

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This page created on April 5, 2002 by Lara Williams